Failure

Can you rise every time you fall?

More than Understanding

The DEEP CHASM between sympathy and emphathy 

My Dreams

I have an order to my life.  This shall happen, then this.  I have been told to decide my dreams and make them happen.  The huge flaw in that advice is that I can't control others or even my own body.

I wanted a second child.  I did everything I was told that would give me another child.  I took all the common and uncommon advice: take tests, stop trying, go to the doctor... No baby.  They saw my first born and asked where is the second.  I lost my composure and avoided.  I had decided my dreams and couldn't make them happen.

I wanted to be successful and others to know it.  As a first born of a first born of a first born, I work hard until I achieve.  I plan and cover all my bases, not leaving anything undone. Perfection is my only option.  Within 13 years of competitive running, I have strived to perfect my body and mind. Read all the books, done every workout, ate the right foods, envisioned all my races, I had come to accomplish.  However I never was good enough for my dreams.  I could never win the top prize.  My highest is second place.  I am always number two.  I had decided my dreams and can't make them happen.

"So scale down the dreams, you made them too high," You say.  Fine. Then all I want is to enjoy life fully and be able to participate in the world that surrounds me. That dream has crushed me over and over: injuries put me on my back, money flies away leaving me worried, or rejection from those around me burns my heart. I still can't make a dream come true.

Since I obviously don't have control over what surrounds me or even my own body, I go on to understand that I will have to focus on my reaction to life.  Can I make lemonade when given a lemon?  Can I smile in the face of fear? Can I be satisfied with what is in my hand?

Life is not about making dreams come true.  It is about accepting the journey that God has so carefully designed for me. The journey is still one of delights and wins.  Embracing the circumstances and seeing either how I can grow from the experience or how I can help others grow.

It is not about what I am wanting life to give me but what I can give life.  I can love no matter what.  In every circumstance, tragedy or delight, I can choose to care deeply: pouring out acceptance, grace, understanding, and wisdom. It is not my dreams that I can impact but other's hearts through love.

This marks 17 years since they handed me my high school diploma and said go make your dreams come true. I wish they would have charged me with the challenge to go love others.

Overtaken

The stirring within me swells and then breaks as a crashing wave.

Fall

"Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed." Luke 20:18

I shall fall and be broken into pieces, put back together anew by Jesus. 

Flying Time

I am trying to halt time.

I won't let go

Holding onto hope. 

The fine line between grace and enabling. 

Stop expecting perfection

Grace

It is so much easier to be mean. 

Where to put the spotlight

Value attributes, not accomplishments 

Praise qualities, not awards

Encourage who they are, not their success

A Rich Worker

I don't work for money, I work for smiles. 

Smiles don't burn in fires.

Smiles don't disappear in the stock market.

Smiles don't rust.

Each one I receive gets tucked in my pocket, captured by my camera, or shared right back. 

I am truly rich. 

A day without disappointment

When you wake, choose the task that is most important for you to complete that day. Do that task at your first opportunity.  Afterwards the success will either spur you on to complete other tasks or will be your win of the day! 

Worry

Just don't bother worrying until you have to.

Worship

Who/what do you worship? Where is your allegiance?

What is chasing you?

When we stop, everything we have been avoiding catches up with us.

1000 weekends in childhood

Childhood is going to disappear like cookies out of a cookie jar!

Just One More Step

"The right way to raise kids is to never give up."

Most impactful question of my life

What is the purpose of life? 

My prayer

God, can I beg enough for you to have mercy on me?

Grace for Mothers

When I first read this poem, I didn't look past the window. I had happened upon it and had my editing eyes on.  I didn't see the great meaning. Thankfully the situation didn't allow me to point out errors and the paper was whisked away. Later I was told is caused tears to roll down mother's faces. My anxious son presented it to me as a Mother's Day gift. Because of my first view of the poem, I understood it much more deeply.

Now I find every part of it beautiful. The misspellings, handwriting, cut of paper, every detail illustrates the deep meaning of the poem, grace. Instead of thinking that he is writing of my grace, I see how he has grace for me. 

Sheep

Don't automatically do what others are doing around you: question and be purposeful!

Mirror

Will I allow myself to be me?

Appointed Time

During trials where patience is needed but not known, it feels like a tornado, earthquake, and ice storm taking turns beating you up.  The loneliness and unknown rock your faith. However the deepness of your faith holds you tight as a sturdy rope holds a boat to the dock during a volient thunderstorm.

When the appointed time comes, when the process of events happen, when the clouds and rain and lightening pass by, the boat is still attached to the dock, the sun comes out, the water filling the boat evaporates. But during that storm, during that trial there was no end to be seen, no possibilities.

I may pray with all my heart and soul and I may have the faith to move mountains but sometimes I must just wait for the appointed time for God to do his will.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NIV)

Human

I am so human.

Ideal

AIM for the ideal

Fix my problems, God

Sometimes I find myself reading the bible like a fortune cookie. Making reading the bible about me, not about learning about God. 

What happens when you take a picture!

Click I love you

Click I think you are special 

Click I want to share you

Click I want to remember you

Each time I face my camera towards you
Each time I click the button

Each time I prepare the picture of you

Each time I share it with others

It is all because of how much I value you. You are worth my time, attention, and care.

I love to celebrate you by capturing you on film!

Secret

I don't have an answer. 

There you go. I said it. I am exposed. I don't know everything and I can't figure everything out. I don't have a decision. 

You did WHAT?

Take the emotions out of parenting teens.

Raising Sons

How do I raise my sons to be as great as their father?

Forgiveness

I need to forgive:

Those that lied about me

Those that betrayed me

Those that didn't meet my expectations

Those that didn't reward me equally 

Those that used me

Those that forgot me

Those that judged me

If I forgave all those people then I would walk with a smile, listen with a heart, help with genuineness, pray without ceasing, and sleep very soundly.

The only person in my way of forgiveness is ME. It takes no one else but me. I have to let go of the wounds and let them heal.

The first step I will take to forgive will be to not remind myself of the battles.

I don't have to hold onto the pain. I can let go.

Another

You gave me ANOTHER day. God, you keep waking me each morning and welcoming me to another new day! 

Because of Nancy

I became a runner because a friend asked me to participate on a track team with her.  
You influence others everyday.

Bitterness

Bitterness is like drinking a poison and expecting that the other person will die.

Trusting

Peter learned while walking on water: Don't take your eyes off Jesus.

The Israelite men thought as they saw the Red Sea split, ladies first.
They really had to trust God.

Though we don't walk on water or the bottom of a sea with walls of water surrounding us, we still face circumstances that require us to TRUST God.  Using every ounce we can muster, we trust. We trust that God is in control, knows what is best, will relieve our pain, and give us peace.

Little Girl

I just want her to stay 6 forever. Her face is so small and innocent. Her cheeks are puffy and hair golden. Life is simple. While eating her lunch, she doesn't sit and contemplate, she stares and watches, nothing heavy weighs on her shoulders. She has no concerns. Her walk is light and her smile is quick to shine.

Rock Pile

"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral." Antoine De Saint-Exupery

How to live

"What this writer and so many other women don't realize is that God has equipped all of us to live more simply, to move toward order, and to live with intentionality." Sally Clarkson

Do you like me?

"I do not have the power to make everyone like me or approve of my values, looks, actions, or performance."  Sally Clarkson

Approval

"How I wish I had learned at an earlier age not to define myself by what other people thought of me." Sally Clarkson

Beauty

"We would never tell a zebra that its stripes should have been polka dots, or a buffalo that it should flit around as delicately as a butterfly. And yet the world tries to fit us into a common mold, which leaves 99.9 percent of us feeling that we fall short compared to the imaginary standard of beauty and womanhood." Sally Clarkson

French Women

"French women are beautiful because they think they are beautiful."

BUSY

"All the chaos consumed me and left me empty."

Winter Blues

I want to sing again.  To be free, lighthearted, and twirling about my day.  To give smiles generously and time without a care, all day long pouring out my love.  Humming and whistling as I skip along.

Can you tell it has been a long cold winter, with the thought of spring teasing me?  But I must live this day, this cold winter day, because God needs to prepare me for those joyous days of pink tulips and yellow daffodils. These are the days of reading, resting, and planning.  Each season is vital and can't be skimped.  Patience is the virtue that I will be gaining.  Soon enough I will be outdoors again with a twirl and smile for all.

Murder

Moses, David, and Paul were the three, largest in volume, authors of the Bible.  They were all murders, over saw others murdered, or commanded a killing.  God loved each one of the men from the moment they were born to their last breathe.

At a pivotal point they all realized their crime, their wrong, knowing in their heart that their past was sinful. Turning to God, they were FORGIVEN  and released from their punishment of death.  Each man went on to impact others in a God honoring way.

YOUR story is not too horrible, wrong, bad, or shameful for God to forgive and turn it around, bringing life to you and your future.

Traffic

"I like to watch the traffic because it brings me back to my childhood. I think about where they are coming from and going." Grandma A.

Worry

He who forms the mountains,
    who creates the wind,
    and who reveals his thoughts to mankind,
who turns dawn to darkness,
    and treads on the heights of the earth—
    the Lord God Almighty is his name.
Amos 4:13(NIV)

Lord will you tread the heights of the earth, so that I may stop treading and pacing and worrying trying to figure out these Redwood tall circumstances?

Two Forks

 One walks through life on a trail. As they go along there are forks on the path that cause them to make a choice on which way to go. Many times it is a choice on whether to learn or refuse to listen.  If they choose to learn, what happens?

The traveler's eyes are opened. As they take their new found knowledge and glance back a mistake is noticed. Discomfort fills them up and makes them itch. They wish they would have not made that mistake and they know what the right action would have been.  

Another fork in the path as appeared. Will they forget what they have learned so that they don't have to change? One path direction looks easy and goes down hill. It seems more comfortable and they know it well. The other path direction goes uphill and will require them to use their new found wisdom. It will take strength and determination to reject the old ways that resulted in mistakes.  However wisdom is like the wind at your back when running. The push of the wind will get them to places that they haven't been before. It will provide strength to climb.  Walking that uphill path with the strength of wisdom will bring them to a mountain top, a new view of the surrounding world.  

To think it is just two forks in the path to a new perspective, right choices, and freedom from sin.

Raising Boy Readers

Sullivan understands boys and education. This book gives the reader a summary on the past two decades of reading education and how boys have been impacted.  Half of the book describes how a boy reads and what he is interest in, the other half is 300 recommendations for boy friendly books.  I loved that the copyright is 2014 and technology is addressed. Modern questions get answered by Sullivan. 

Being a mom of three boys and one girl, I have witnessed the difference in desired genres.  Non-fiction, pictures, fantasy, crazy fonts, and action books have been read over and over in my home.  My bookshelves are full of books on animals, bones, wars, mice riding motorcycles, comedy, and creatures flying. My childhood favorites, Beverly Cleary and Laura Ingalls Wilder, have really only been treasured by my daughter.  The boys bored of them by the second page.  My daughter reads for the characters and my sons read for the action, but they all love for me to read to them. 

Volume, that is what Sullivan suggests for all readers, not degree of difficulty.  However only books that interest the reader. I concur. My children are readers because they have been exposed to books of interest and value the opportunity to read. 

HOW? In real life what does that look like? Taking turns reading pages of Ralph's Motercycle, 30 non-fiction or easy reads by each of the beds, reading lights on all bed posts, books in each relaxing room in the house, lots of audiobooks, requesting books of interest from the library, wandering the library shelves, each of us asking friends what they are reading, and modeling reading as parents are the ways in which we have become a reading family. 

One more thing.... Honor when your child wants to read or not. Yes, if that means only one page is read that day. Great, one glimpse is enough to the keep the flame going. 

This book is going beyond a library loan to an Amazon buy.